There will be times in life everything feels as if they are starting to get into place. There will be times in life it won’t. There will be times in life it is something in between, when you are not sure which way things might go. It is not always easy to land on your feet, when getting knocked over. But perhaps that is the thing needed to be practiced. To let go of that inner fear that is held within you and dare to take that leap wholeheartedly. Trusting in yourself and in life that you can take that fall and that you well land on your feet. It is nothing wrong with falling. It is in fact when you fall you sometimes learn what you need to do in a different way. For me yoga is something both on and off the mat. When I reflect on how I am on the mat or of the mat I see the connections. If allowing myself to truely be open, different kinds of insight will be given. Insights helping me not only in my yoga practice on the mat but also in my day to day life. These are beautiful gifts to recieve if you just dare to be open and listen.
When practicing my handstands for example, I have struggled with quite a few things. Needed to first build up my body strenth, and still do. Then I had to start trying practicing them without the saftynet of always having that wall behind to make sure I didn’t fall. With a wall behind I was happy practicing and see my improvements but when it came to start trying doing them without that wall behind, I struggled. I did not dare to kick up enough with my leg. Beceause that meant a possibilty of falling with no one having my back but myself, there would be no wall behind. What would happen if I fell? I tried practing handstands, thinking it would some how just happen. But inside was this fear that made me not dare to give that extra strong kick to just see what would happen. If I just let myself take that fall. At one point I decided wholehearedly to really give it a real go, what would be so bad to fall? It is just a handstand. I was scarred of falling backwards because that meant of me losing control. Not knowing how I would land. Not knowing if I would fall without getting injured. Not knowing if I would get up safe from the fall. This fear of falling has many reason one can trace back way long back in time that has nothing to do with handstands maybe. Any how I knew I would not get any further if I did’nt make a change. So I decided to trust. Trust that I would fall backwards and that would be okey. Trust that it would be fine. Trust that my body would know how to land after a fall. Trust that my feet would catch me. Trust that my arms would be strong enough to hold me up. Trust in my body. Trust that I could do this. Trust in what ever it will be, will be just what it is need to be.
So I did trust. I kicked up enough, held my handstand for like a milli second that very first time, and I feel backwards! Guess what happend? I survived 😉 and it was the best feeling ever! I felt all pumped up with adrenaline and I felt so proud that I did it. For many it might not be a big deal. But this was a big deal for me. After that first fall, I dared to do it again and again. My handstands are still not instaperfect but for me it doesn’t matter because by practicing them I remind myself that it is okey to fall. I will get back on my feet. It reminds me there is beauty in everything, even if not doing it perfect.